Avocado Thursday: Poor avocado pairings

12 Aug

I consider myself an avocado advocate. There are so many wonderful qualities to avocados and they are so versatile to cook with that it’s hard not force avocados into everyone’s diet. I dread the winter when the cost of avocados skyrockets to $1.99 for 1 (yup, you read that right) and I will be forced to eat only one avocado per week. There will be a void in my menu plans when avocados become nonbudget friendly.

That being said, there are just some foods and combinations of foods in which an avocado should never, under any circumstances, exist. For instance:

  1. Avocado and peanut butter. Both avocados and peanut butter are amazingly delicious and wonderful; however, the combination of the two is just gruesome.  The squishiness factor alone makes it inedible.
  2. Avocado milkshakes. Avocado+milk=vomit.
  3. Avocado chocolate cups. Reese’s peanut butter cups are the most delicious candy known to man (and woman) and although the creator of this magical food is a diabolical genius, replacing the peanut butter with avocado is just mean. And enormously foul. And lawsuit worthy.
  4. Avocados and ketchup. Tomatoes and avocados are quite tasty. Adding in vinegar and whatever else goes into ketchup makes it quite frightening.
  5. Avocado cookies. Perhaps the only way to destroy cookies and avocados at the same time.
  6. Avocado jelly beans. And I though the earwax flavored jelly beans were disgusting.
  7. Avocado fruit salad. Avocados are a fruit. This does not mean that they belong in a bowl with bananas, grapes, canteloupe, kiwi or any other fruit.  It looks at the other fruits and thinks “I know we’re family but I don’t really belong here. I’m going to go hang out with the tomato over there on the vegetable tray. It knows how I feel”.
  8. Avocado jerky.  For the vegan hunter.

And the piece de resistance…sardines and avocado sandwiches:

20100112-altonbrown5.jpg

Vile. Just vile. (picture from http://www.seriouseats.com)

Alton Brown, I don’t care how much weight you lost eating these, this is an abomination and abusive to the avocado. I wish there was a way to bring up charges against you for assaulting your taste buds. Forget the fact that sardines are just scary, to torture a poor avocado by making it sit on top of a sardine is just wrong.  I am ashamed of you, Mr. Brown. I thought you knew better.

I’m certain there are more foods that should never be paired with an avocado (avocado martini, anyone?) but these are at the top of the list. Are there any foods you would never pair with an avocado?

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4 Responses to “Avocado Thursday: Poor avocado pairings”

  1. Tia August 12, 2010 at 11:14 am #

    Avocados at $1.99 are pricey? How much do you pay for one that you consider to be inexpensive? I’m in West Chester, PA and I pay $1.50 for one right now. I thought that was reasonable because I eat one once a week (I split it with my son). I’m just wondering if I can get them for less somewhere else.

    • theemptykitchen August 12, 2010 at 11:32 am #

      i pay $.88 for one at my supermarket right now. i know that people in california pay something like $.06 (maybe not that low but it’s really cheap). i also eat about 3 or 4 a week so it starts to add up.

  2. Sarah August 13, 2010 at 8:46 am #

    avocados are never less than $1 here in indiana. 😦 and avocado should never be paired with turkey (i.e. thanksgiving style… maybe a turkey burger… but not grilled/baked/etc.) or potatoes. ewwww gross!

    • theemptykitchen August 13, 2010 at 8:49 am #

      sarah, that’s a good one. i just cannot bear the thought of avocado and potatoes. or cranberry sauce.

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