Kitchen Table Talk: Food makes me feel old

6 Dec

Apparently, getting old is funny. There’s a whole industry centered around it: t-shirts, birthday cards, gag gifts; even comedians will do whole routines about what happens as people age!  I think that the signs of aging can be detected primarily in food.

I know it’s kind of  a bold statement. But when I think about my 4 year old’s preferences, and see some of the combinations of foods that she eats, I throw up a little (one in particular is so revolting that if I had not seen it for myself I would not believe it. What was it? It was watermelon dipped in ketchup). Quite frankly, it makes me feel old. Not old enough to treat myself to an early bird special, but old enough to realize that I no longer have the luxury of subsisting solely on chicken nuggets.  

Here’s a list of some other food-based indicators that will let you know if you’re getting old:

  1. Pizza, beer, ice cream and fast food can no longer act as your primary source of nutrition
  2. You actively pay attention to your fiber intake
  3. Candy you ate as a child is now found only in nostalgia baskets
  4. You cannot drink anything after 9 pm or you will be running to the bathroom every hour
  5. You read #4 and realized that 9 pm is your bedtime
  6. You attend college alumni events and, instead of playing drinking games, you debate the benefits of a ceramic top stove
  7. You judge what you’re going to eat by the amount of Tums you’re going to need afterwards
  8. You look for low cal macaroni and cheese recipes
  9. You still refer to the 4 food groups and find the food pyramid confusing
  10. Halloween is no longer a source of enjoyment but rather a source of sugar induced anxiety

How does food make you feel old?


4 Responses to “Kitchen Table Talk: Food makes me feel old”

  1. Candace Elmore December 6, 2010 at 11:33 am #

    Oh these are sooooo true. Girlfriends and I have talked about these same topics!

  2. Robyn Berman December 6, 2010 at 11:54 am #

    One word for you… PICKLES. I’m sure you are laughing as this reference is CLEARLY referring to you, well and Amy too of course. If you can no longer clear an entire serving plate of pickles before dinner is served, well JB, sorry to say it… but you’re old.

    However if it makes you feel any better, #2 is the focus of my life. I’m pretty sure that makes me eligible for the early bird special… so at least you’re in good company 🙂

    I love your blogs… they all seem to bring back such great memories of when we were kids. xoxo

    • theemptykitchen December 6, 2010 at 3:26 pm #

      you know, i have not even tried to do that in a long, long time. i’ll have to see if i can challenge myself but, to be honest…the thought kind of makes me sick.

      *sigh*. i guess i’m getting old.

  3. adventuresofpretendcook December 7, 2010 at 12:42 pm #

    Love this post. It is too funny. I especially like #2 because I do that all the time!

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